Whenever the naysayers ask, ‘Why would you do that?’ I have one answer and one answer only.
‘Why not?’
That shuts them up!
Sometimes I’ll elaborate but only if the naysayer in question shows genuine bafflement and isn’t being totally obnoxious but mostly, I say, ‘Why not?’
And in turn, when people say, ‘You’re mad!’ I quote the outrageously talented Roald Dahl and quip, ‘All the best people are!’
So why I’ve always wanted to learn to milk a cow is not a question I can really answer but I’m glad I did.
My two hour feeding and hand milking experience took place at a slaughter free dairy in Rutland called Ahimsa and I booked the package at ahimsamilk.org and I paid through PayPal.
Darryl Biggs was very helpful in finding a slot to suit my schedule and I was to be looked after by Iain, an experienced cow handler.
Iain was very friendly and thoroughly informative. I learned the history of the organisation and that ahimsa is from Hindu and Buddhism and means that we should respect all living things, hence the slaughter free element of the dairy. Unlike many dairies, calves are kept with their mother to drink their milk and live their lives up to twenty years. This made me even happier that I had chosen Ahimsa.
Iain genuinely knew and cared for the cows and even researched homeopathic remedies for some of the older cow’s ailments. He is an inspiration.
I learnt not to approach the cow from the front as this is confrontational and instead approached from the side and began to brush Rolly and moved on to Poppy, Darlia and a few more. I met two oxen and learned that an ox is a castrated bull. Much to my shame, I ignorantly thought they were a separate species. I was given a huge licking down from Poppy and my jeans were soaked but it was great. Iain had told me their tongues were rough, a bit like a cat’s but more so and he wasn’t kidding- I could feel it snagging my denim!
We milked Darlia and she was clearly happy to be milked and very calm. Iain was a great teacher who showed me two methods and I slowly got the hang of it. All four teats on the udder have to milked and I’m afraid that much of the milk from one teat mostly ended up on the floor; I blame the lack of dexterity in my left hand, but we had a decent yield.
At one point, Iain told me the cows smelt really nice and I was gently encouraged to have a closer smell. I must say, I expected the cows to smell of barnyard but Iain was right, they had a lovely, sweet aroma to them and their fur was much softer than I ever imagined.
Forget the whys of life and try something new and if you’re going to try one new thing this year, visit Ahimsa and meet their cows.